EPISODE 260: LOVED SKIING. TIRED OF THE DRINKING.
Interview with Ben Coombes of Soberski
The Alcohol ReThink Podcast with Patrick Fox
EPISODE SUMMARY
Ben Coombes loved skiing and life in the mountains. He was tired of the heavy drinking that seemed to come with each ski season. In this interview, Patrick Fox talks with Ben about the patterns he struggled to change, his decision to spend an entire ski season alcohol-free, and how that decision led him to create Soberski, an alcohol-free ski retreat in the French Alps.
The conversation explores drinking culture on ski holidays, anxiety, self-trust, purpose and the freedom of being somewhere with no expectation to drink.
IN THIS EPISODE, YOU WILL HEAR ABOUT
• Why Ben began questioning his drinking in his twenties
• How he approached a sober ski season one commitment at a time
• The surprising support he received in a party resort
• How Soberski grew from his own experience
• What guests gain from a ski holiday without pressure to drink
• Why purpose and service can help sustain change
FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
This transcript has been lightly edited for clarity and readability while preserving the meaning and conversational style of the original interview. The source subtitles were automatically generated, so uncertain wording has been corrected only where the intended meaning was clear.
OPENING
Patrick: Welcome to the Alcohol Rethink Podcast, the podcast for men who are ready to rethink the role of alcohol in their lives for good. With shared experiences, concepts, tools, and coaching. Get ready to radically change how you think about alcohol and stop drinking for good. I'm your host, Patrick Fox. Let's go. You are listening to episode #260 of the Alcohol Rethink Podcast. Hi guys. Welcome back to the podcast. We're here for another week of ways that you can rethink alcohol.
And I'm really pleased I've actually got a guest who's going to join me so we can talk about his own personal rethink in his life when it came to alcohol and what that's led to as well, which is the bit that I'm really excited to talk about with him and with all of you listening. And so we've got Ben Coombes joining the show. He is the founder of Soberski, a super cool company. I had a conversation with him last week about it. So made a lot of sense to invite him on the podcast. Ben, welcome to the show, dude.
Ben: Yeah, thanks so much for having me, mate. And yeah, really cool to be on here. And yeah, big fan of what you're doing as well. I think you're doing incredible work in this sort of space, so it's nice to be to be asked to come on.
Patrick: Thank you. Yeah, no problem at all, man. I think our brief chat the other day, you've got an important message to share. I also love the opportunities that come from not drinking as well. And you know, for us, it almost completely changed our whole career and trajectory that way. But it doesn't have to be that big for everyone else. But it's just about showing people what's possible. And that really is the key thing in all of this. But yeah, it's good to have you on, man. Whereabouts are you based, Ben?
Ben: So I'm based just on the outskirts of London, so like Greater London sort of southwest. So, yeah, not too far from sort of Hampton Court. Yeah.
Patrick: All right. Awesome. Well, Ben, I think a great place to start with all of these interviews is just to kind of give us an idea of what life was like for you when it came to alcohol. So kind of, you know, what was it like in the beginning in terms of how you drank and why you drank and then what's led you to where you are now effectively?
BEN’S RELATIONSHIP WITH ALCOHOL
Ben: Yeah, for sure. So I suppose I'm, I'm 28 now for starters, but I stopped drinking maybe just under two years ago. So I think December 2024. But prior to that, I mean, I'd spent my entire sort of teenage years really and 20s, I would say drinking probably from like 15 or 16, as many people do. But yeah, definitely into sort of my late teens and early 20s that it was becoming sort of heavier and heavier and heavier and just something that I think became a bit of my personality probably, you know, definitely as sort of a young sort of 20-something year old.
It was sort of very much often drinking to excess, getting into lots of stupid, you know, situations and stories and so on. And I suppose I'd always had quite an excessive sort of relationship with it, quite sort of all-or-nothing sort of thing. And it wasn't really until sort of, you know, early to mid-twenties where I really started to feel like that was affecting me and affecting, you know, relationships, affecting the way that, you know, work and just things that maybe, you know, I knew I wasn't fully living up to my potential, essentially, you know, and I think I was still probably doing quite a good job of holding everything together.
And it may be externally looking like things were going quite well and doing lots of exciting things. But really I felt like it was something that I was struggling with and something that I knew was just completely getting in my way. And it wasn't really until you know, sort of discovering the love of skiing and then that kind of made it worse because of how boozy ski trips can be in the whole lifestyle and living in sort of a party resort essentially. And doing that again year after year and having just all of these turbulent ups and downs really.
And I kind of, it took me a long time to figure out that drinking and overdrinking was the thing that was linking all of those highs and lows together and was, you know, producing so many of those big crashes that were happening on sort of just a yearly basis. So yeah, I eventually just decided I think enough was enough. And I just wanted to look for different ways to do things really.
Patrick: Yeah, nice one man. If it's all right, I'd like to ask some questions about the kind of things that you shared there. And you know, it's what strikes me, man, is that you're relatively young to have started having that awareness about the impact of alcohol, which is really cool, right? Because so much of your future to look forward to without it. And that's really great. And what do you think it was that?
Was it just how you were feeling or were there other, I don't know, like education or awareness outside of you that kind of brought you to that awareness that alcohol wasn't really working for you anymore?
THE HEALTH SCARE AND THE CYCLE THAT FOLLOWED
Ben: I think a lot of it was anxiety, like health anxiety specifically that was just sort of bringing me to my knees. I had a health scare when I was around sort of like 21. I'd been drinking heavily for the previous six months and was going through a rough time. And yeah, eventually I ended up basically going into hospital thinking I was having a heart attack, right? Like woke up in the middle of the night, couldn't breathe, went to hospital.
They then started, you know, wiring me up, doing all of these tests and being like, you know, these indicators that we've seen on your results are like markers associated with a heart attack, but typically things you'd see in older people. And so like this completely put the fear in me, I'm like sat in the hospital bed thinking everything I've been doing for the last how many years has now finally caught up with me. And like I went into this complete meltdown and spiral of thinking, you know, like I was going to die basically.
And I'd basically gone too far and I'd basically done like irreparable sort of damage or whatever. And I got really worried about just like maybe the amount I drank and so on and everything else that comes with that. And just sort of, yeah, it really then just set me off on a difficult few months, and it stayed with me on and off for years after that where things would get better for a while, I'd sort of get busy again and sort of get distracted.
But certainly those six months after having that sort of scare, you know, being in hospital, having all of these tests done and they couldn't quite work out what it was. And, you know, then I couldn't basically sleep for a long time after that. And I was completely terrified of basically that same experience happening again, essentially going to sleep and not waking up. So it completely destroyed my sleep. But even still with that horrendous sort of experience that really like affected me, I was still going back and doing all the wrong things again.
You know, that's even that wasn't enough for me to like go, OK, maybe you need to like chill out for a bit and maybe stop doing that same thing. I was still very much doing the typical self sabotaging behaviours, still doing things again and again and again, even though I knew it was completely the wrong thing for me and I couldn't get out of that cycle no matter how many times I tried to do it. I'd go on these like, oh, I'm going to train for a half marathon and maybe like use that as a reason not to drink or whatever.
And all of these kind of, I'd try and like give myself all of these little strategies, you know, but none of them really seemed to stick. And I'd just get bored. And you know, within two weeks it'd be like, oh, actually there's a big night out happening or a holiday or an event, or another reason where, oh, I can't quit drinking because I've got this to look forward to. I've got to do this first. And then maybe I'll think about it. And I just kept putting it off, putting it off and did that again for years and years, right.
But, you know, typically my work's sort of like quite fast-paced and find myself quite busy a lot of the time, especially over the summers. And then it would be almost like on repeat, it'd get to like October, November, and I'd just have this massive crash. And that would come right before then doing another ski season or doing another ski trip. And it would always kind of throw me into this like state of should I go, shouldn't I go? I'm about to go into another three month binge of being in a party resort. Should I really do that again?
I probably shouldn't. And I've really just got to this massive, I keep calling it a crossroads really of just being like, I know that I'm susceptible to just not doing well in those environments, but I feel like there's no other option and I can't get away from it. And so that's what then led me to going on this venture and going actually, there is another way to enjoy your life. Enjoy big things, enjoy holidays, enjoy like just general things. I'd run out of other options, basically.
Patrick: Yeah, fucking hell, mate. Turbulent to say the least. Yeah, man, like that whole hospital experience. Did they ever say what it was, or did you know it was really?
Ben: They didn't say it was connected to drinking. I think this was weird because it was all around the sort of COVID times and like I think they put it down to myocarditis in the end. And so I don't know whether I've just got suddenly ill, but it completely like I genuinely couldn't breathe and my heart was going crazy and they were telling me all of these things and they started, you know, yeah, doing all of these crazy tests and stuff. And I was in the hospital like wired up for three days and nobody really saying anything.
And so, yeah, it was just quite a traumatic experience really that left a massive, a massive impression on me because I, you know, I attached so much guilt, shame and worry to it and sort of like I've done this to myself is kind of how I was thinking about it. You know, I'd caused that thing. It might have been something completely unrelated, but it was correlating with a very difficult time. And so it might have been me wrongly assuming that drinking and whatever was, you know, was playing a part in it. But it can't have been helping.
I know for sure it wasn't helping.
Patrick: No, well, definitely not that like the anxiety that detoxing from alcohol can create is huge. And then especially being in that type of environment, I imagine you're on your own for long periods of time. And so your brain is just constantly trying to make sense of everything. And like it often does is try, we try to blame ourselves for everything, which is not really helpful either. Oh, cool, man. Yeah. So you had that experience, which was, you know, rough. And then you found yourself coming out and finding a little bit of resolve by the sounds of it.
But then falling back into patterns and habits and routines, right, which is really normal, isn't it? You know, I think it's such a massive change to just go from being someone who strongly identifies as a drinker as clearly it sounds like you were right just all of a sudden not drinking. And I think with as you were sharing there as well, like you do the running events, like you set up all of these things, which is great, right? Even if you're not being totally honest with yourself, at least you're, you've got some sort of reason to not drink.
But they all come with expiration dates, don't they? Right. They all, they come and they go. And so it's just like, what's left after that? And so well then, what helped you to then finally get out of that cycle?
CHOOSING A SOBER SKI SEASON
Ben: I think I tried a lot of different things, as I say, like, you know, I think for me, eventually it came down to the fact that I, you know, I'd been at what I'd felt like was rock bottom several times, but that wasn't enough for me to actually make a change, right. It would be like a bit of a patchwork, you know, Band-Aid it and then just do it again, basically and kind of think, Oh, I'm all right again, get a bit of confidence, feel better for a little while and then kind of get slipped back into it.
But I think eventually I just came to the realization that for me, you know, I'm somebody that's quite, in my mind, quite aspirational, somebody who's like really, you know, wants to do well, wants to succeed, wants to like live a life that you can be proud of. But I kind of realised that as much as I could think that, none of my actions were matching it, you know, I felt like I had so much potential to utilise and was just wasting all of it.
You know, as I felt like I was just leaving so much on the table that really I could have, if I was putting anywhere near as much energy as I was into drinking and going out and all the rest of it. And, you know, the kind of energy and time that was taken, if I even like put half of that into something that I actually cared about, then in my mind I was like, well, I would succeed. So it just got to a point where I thought, well, this is, you've never tried to cut that thing out. You've tried everything else. And clearly that hasn't worked.
You've tried therapy, you've tried counselling, you've tried like trying to be healthy and going to the gym and, you know, all of these other sort of mindfulness techniques and whatever. And yeah, like, you know, great. But like if you're still going to keep the element in that alters all of that, which is drinking and drinking not just like a beer or two, but way more than that. And very frequently then, you know, then it's silly, right? You're doing all that other stuff in vain. And so I just decided, well, this is the time, this is the time for me.
And I, and I actually, this was again coming into that winter period, like November, sort of December time, right before I was thinking about going skiing again. And it was like, OK, if I'm going to do this, half of me were saying, well, you've got to quit And well, Christmas is coming up. So you can't do it before Christmas. Wait till after Christmas and then give it a go. But I thought if I can, if I can, I'm not going to just wait to dry January.
If I can do it in December and quit at the start of December and get through Christmas, then I can do anything. It's kind of my mindset. And that would then set me up for doing a sober season, which was like my target to kind of prove that I could exist. It was, it was a challenge for me, really. So, yeah, it was kind of like the thought of trying to like challenge myself, trying to prove and go against the grain in a resort and in a sport that is like hand in hand with drinking. And it, yeah, it was, it was kind of to prepare myself for that really.
So having a bigger purpose other than myself, you know, and actually just thinking, well, can I almost prove to myself and everybody else that it's possible to do something that probably people think you can't do? That was sort of enough to give me a bit of confidence to take it on.
Patrick: Yeah, nice man. Yeah. That sounds like you had like a huge mindset shift. You had this kind of little insight into hold on, like, what if I took all of this energy and put it over here and like tried something, right and really went all in on it and just making that choice, making that decision. And it what I love is that it wasn't right. I'm never going to drink again. It's like, can I do a sober season? Can I go a ski season without drinking? Right? Could I?
And then you just, and then you can stack on, right, Because then you get to show yourself that you can do it. You get to build wins, build confidence, build self trust, etcetera. I was curious as well, dude. So you're saying you're like you like you liked the way to challenge yourself, which I think is great. And what I find with a lot of guys that I work with as well, a lot of high achievers is that we're very competitive, you know, and we were just talking about padel before we came on, right?
So I wonder for you, like, do you find yourself competitive? Like, yeah.
Ben: 100% I think for me, I was like, I'm competing against myself. It's a bit like a cliche thing, but I was like, I don't need to focus on what everybody else is doing. Like for me, I need to get like, get myself right and think about, you know, really actually holding myself accountable to changing and to actually like developing. I kind of, I don't know, in the back of my mind, I was always like, well, somebody will just come and rescue me from this at some point.
And they're like, my life will just be, you know, brilliant at some point, but just like not right now. And actually eventually it dawned on me that it's like, well, you're going to spend years and years still just, you know, waiting for that to just happen if you don't take any action yourself. And I think I just realised it was, it wasn't up to anybody else other than me to do that. And so, yeah, I kind of came into competition, I suppose, with myself. And you're right about like the stacking side of it.
It was, you know, initially it was like a three month target and then I thought, well, hold on, now I've done three months, I might as well go for six months. And I just as I do when I'm like running or whatever, I would always just shift the goal posts and eventually go, well, if I can do that, then I can probably do this. And then, you know, you just end up kind of edging it, edging it, edging it and getting to the next level and thinking, well, I've come this far, why would I go back?
And, you know, through that period of like trials and tribulations that have just like continuously, like you say, proving that you are capable of doing something difficult and sticking to what you say you're going to do. Then I realized that translates into everything else as well. And suddenly not just like one area of my life was getting better, like across the board, things were improving. And so, yeah, it's like with anything, isn't it? You start to see a bit of progress and you go, OK, well this is probably worth sticking to then.
Patrick: Yeah, nice. And I think actually that's a really great point because they're, you know, I used to do this and I'm sure there's guys listening as well. It's the they go, yeah, but I tried that, right? I tried to take a month off and it didn't work. I failed, right. And then they just keep using it against themselves. And it's, it's almost like it doesn't fucking matter how many times you've tried, right? Like just keep recommitting, like keep making that decision again for yourself.
And having that drive to prove to yourself that you can do it because you only have to do it once to show yourself that you're capable of doing it. Like, that's the amazing thing. It doesn't matter if you've tried it hundreds of times before that one time you do it. Now you've got evidence. Now you can keep building on it, man. Like, that's really fucking cool.
Ben: Yeah, for sure.
PAIN, PROGRESS AND PURPOSE
Patrick: And also the purpose, right? I think that's such a massive piece. It's something I've been talking about in the last few episodes of the podcast as well is. Yeah. A lot of time in the beginning, we are moving away from pain, right? We've had enough, as you said. And then over time it becomes progress, which is what you've been sharing. But like above, that is purpose, right? Like we've been called towards something far bigger than ourselves, right?
Ben: Absolutely. And I for me, I that took me so long to stumble upon really like I've always, I've always been like, say, entrepreneurial and in my mind, but like not ever really done anything with it. Just sort of like, you know, but for me, it was more like, I know that I've now been through something or been through like lots of things. And I through that entire time were like trying to figure it out as like a 20 year old and 20-something year old and going through all of these difficulties.
It was sort of like, well, I was constantly trying to pull for resources and inspiration and hope to sort of go, well, I wish that was all in one place. You know, like I wish like there was a one stop shop almost where like I can find everything that is going to spur me on. Look at the look at the positive influences and find all of those like whether it's, you know, podcasts or whether it's like just other people or you know, proof of other people that have like gone through something difficult. I love like autobiographies, right?
I love hearing about people's stories and then how they got to where they are. And it was like, well, I want to create something that helps other people as well. Like not just something that is there for enjoyment, but it's something that is there for people to really benefit from and maybe see some sort of life changing results from, right. Because you know, why not? I have in my mind, I thought, well, I've, I've not gone through all of this stuff for nothing. Like I can't just, I'm not going to go through it and that's the end of it.
And there's no, there's got to be something good that comes out of like all of these difficult times. And so like that then morphed into, well, what can I do with that? What can I channel that into? And yeah, that purpose to me ended up being, well, I want to create another option for people. I want to create something for people who. Who have gone through difficult things or for people that just want generally want more for themselves.
Like, you know, I want that to be something that's encouraged and something that's accessible and something that is like an attractive thing to do and you know, and not so niche.
Patrick: Yeah, nice. Well, we're we're kind of segwaying beautifully onto sober ski. We can talk about it in a second, but I think what you've just shared there is really profound and massive for anyone listening, right? It's because when you're struggling with alcohol, you're making it all about you a lot of the time, right? Like you feel sorry for yourself. You're beating yourself up and you just get so focused on what you think you are or you aren't doing right. It becomes really difficult. And like you said, no one's coming to save you, right?
People are going to try and help, you know, whatever. But I always remember a coach saying the same thing, right? No one's coming to save you like you. This is about you. Like, what are you going to do? How are you going to kind of step up, take responsibility for what's going on? And one of the ways that you can do that is to stop making it about you so much and start thinking about, OK, what have I got to give, right? How can I be of service to people? What can I do for others?
And we're not talking about starting a sober podcast or anything like that, right? There's so many different ways that you can do it. And you found yours through Soberski.
Ben: Yeah, exactly. And I think, yeah, you've hit the nail on the head. It's it's like, you know, realizing that the world is bigger than just what's directly in front of you, right. And I think you can spend so much time, you know, just like you say, being introspective and just thinking the world revolves around you. And that like, it's just like, you know, my world and everybody else is living in it.
But actually it's like, well, it doesn't pay anything to be that self absorbed, you know, like it's like, eventually, yes, everybody goes through difficult things. Everybody has different circumstances and actually start to realise I'm actually pretty lucky to be where I am. Like, yeah, I've maybe gone through difficult things, but in other ways I've had it so much easier than so many other people. So it's like I'm who am I to sort of like disregard all of the brilliant opportunities and conditions and just chance in life that I've been given?
Who am I to just throw that away in place of something else? And when somebody else would kill to be where I am? And it was like, that was the switch to be like, this isn't excusable anymore. This is like now you need to really step up and do something with your life because there's so many other people that would, you know, really wish to be in your position. And you've got, I knew that I had it in me to like, say, give more than I was giving. And so, yeah, that was the tipping point, really.
THE IDEA BEHIND SOBERSKI
Patrick: Yeah, no, it's such a big perspective change when you start thinking about things like that, man. OK, so the birth of Soberski, right? How did it come about? You touched on it earlier, but how did it start?
Ben: Yeah. So, in a nutshell, it's an alcohol-free ski retreat based in the French Alps. For me, I'm somebody that found skiing maybe 5-6 years ago now, like fairly like late in the grand scheme of things, maybe seven years ago now. I was around 21 and fell in love with it and the mountains. It was enough for me to want to move there. And so I then ended up doing seasons. I went out there, worked for a chalet company and it's a very typical heavy boozing sort of atmosphere. It's basically like a party resort. So there's no escaping it.
And of course, for as I've described someone like me, it was like, well, I'm going to just go head first into that. And then I then was coming back sort of year after year. And again, it was always the same thing. I wasn't just going for a week, I'd be going for like 2-3 months. And I was going for these extended trips. And so, you know, it became like a yearly thing to know that I was entering back into that environment and there wasn't really any escaping.
And I sort of just decided and made peace of the fact that although I know that I don't really want to be like that or do that anymore, if I'm going there, then that's just a default of the experience. You know, that's just what that's just par for the course, right? There isn't really any other any other option. And when I was in my typical sort of yearly November sort of meltdown phase and worrying about the year ahead and, you know, going through that spiral again and then suddenly started to think, actually, I do actually have a choice.
Like, you know, I can actually choose to go there and choose not to drink and choose not to put myself in that position. And it just sparked something in me that was like, well, that's it. Like I'm not, I don't need somebody else's permission for me to like stop drinking. If I want to stop drinking and I want to like change the way I'm living, then I'll just do that. That's within my gift to do that. So yeah, I set up an Instagram page.
I was like, all right, I'm going to do a sober season and just stay accountable, post it on Instagram and just say that this is what I'm doing. It's quite an off the wall idea because of the kind of environment that it is. So I knew that it would sort of be a bit weird, like people probably think that's not, that's completely opposite to what we think about skiing, right.
And so I sort of used that as a bit of fuel to be like, I'm going to prove to everybody that you can go out here and have an amazing time, get loads of skiing in, not waste your time, feel brilliant and challenge yourself. And I sort of paired that with ice baths and like putting an ice bath on my balcony and doing that in like -5° and sort of trying to really bolt on a physical challenge with like the mental challenge of like the lifestyle change. And so, yeah, that gave me a load of fuel.
And then as I was in the resort and telling people about this, it was people were kind of really meeting me of these really overwhelmingly, like, positive responses and support, which really surprised me because I thought I'm going to get so much Flack here for like, being known as somebody who's, you know, like a fairly big drinker and like that just being part of my personality to then suddenly not doing that. I thought I'm going to get so much resistance, but it was the complete opposite. Everybody was like, do you know what?
I really respect what you're doing or actually, I really wish I could do that as well. Or actually I've been thinking about it or actually I'm here and I'm on this trip and I'm over here and, you know, I'm drinking, but I don't really want to do it. And it's, you know, like I'm kind of like at the point that you're at and I, you know, I really like what you're doing. So it gave me a lot of confidence, you know, that people were receptive to sort of that way of being. And so then I thought, well, OK, this is beyond me now.
It's not just for me to make myself feel better. There's other people that could probably benefit from an experience that's different to the one that they've always known. And so that then kind of sparked this idea to set up these trips and to basically create a week for people to just reset. So whatever that is, whether they are, whether that's drinking, whether that's just stress, whether that's just anything else that is holding them back, whatever that is, anything that they're doing too much of or not enough of that is just hindering them.
I wanted to create a week that would just break the cycle of that and go right, You can come to this amazing chalet, you can come to an amazing resort. You've got an incredible like activity and skiing or snowboarding to base the whole week around. But for the whole time that you're not on the mountain, we're going to be doing everything that's right for you. Everything that's only going to improve how you feel, how you think, how you operate.
So, you know, like daily yoga, for example, maybe whether that's just for the physical benefits or for the mindful benefits, having great food. So a private chef there kind of, you know, really kind of dialing down your nutrition. I had also got into ice baths. So proving again, you can do something difficult if you, if you put your mind to it, you know, getting in submerging in two degree water for minutes at a time and saying, I've never done that before, but like, because I was here, I could do that.
And so kind of just encouraging an atmosphere that promotes growth and promotes people to kind of develop and potentially shift some things that maybe they hadn't been able to before. And so then naturally, you're going to meet other people that are like that, right? People that are also that way inclined and that way, you know, aspirational and bringing those kind of people together. And so, yeah, that's kind of where these trips started from.
So, yeah, we ran our first one at the start of the year back in January with nine strangers from all over the place, all around the UK, from America and people, yeah, people that had come from, yeah, all backgrounds, people that had problems with drinking, people that hadn't, people that were just more into fitness and wellness and health and just some people that just were like, I don't, I'm not really that bothered about drinking, but I really love making the most of the mountain.
I don't want to spend half the week in the bar and the half my budget on that as well. Right. So yeah, we got people from all over and yeah, it went super well. Like it was such an incredible, like, surreal week because you're basically watching people in real time just make these shifts within themselves that they just didn't even know were there. People are going, oh, I've been sitting on this idea for years that I've been thinking about and all of a sudden now, like I feel like when I'm home, I'm fired up to actually give it a go.
Or I didn't think I could go on holiday before, you know, again, you know, in this kind of environment because I just get caught up in the boozing. But actually now I'm here, I've proved I can have an amazing week and not need to drink. And so now I've I can go on holiday and I can go and try new stuff and new things. So yeah, probably everybody there got something different out of it, but there was some really big impacts that I was very proud of being a part of, for sure.
Patrick: Nice, man. How fucking cool. Just to like prove yourself wrong, prove other people wrong and show yourself what's possible. Not just for you and Soberski and not drinking, but like for all those people who experienced it as well, right. Just to get out of our boxes, to get out of our own limitations and to realize like there's so much more that we are capable of. Yeah.
Ben: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it was essentially just like the biggest challenge I've ever faced because it was like, well, again, it's this whole thing of when you're starting something from zero like this, is it like they're going from the process of having an idea? And this is an idea that I'd kind of half thought about like on and off, like for maybe a year or 18 months before actually doing anything about it. I was like, oh, wouldn't it be cool to like set something up in the mountains?
But I don't really know what it would be because I was half thinking, well, that probably wouldn't last because it would get destroyed by just like the lifestyle element of it. Right. So I was kind of like half thinking about it. But when you go from actually having an idea that is a bit of a throwaway thought to begin with and going, no, actually if I stick to this, I'm really like put my mind to it and actually commit to doing the right things and making better habits and creating the right conditions for me to reasonably hit that goal, then you can probably make something happen here.
I was like, I think I've got enough here. Like I should be capable with the world that we're living in now with like, you know, the amount of opportunities and access to everything and my just experience through work and running events and working for luxury brands and all this sort of stuff. If I can't make that happen, then that's just a lack of effort, not because I couldn't have done it potential wise. There I still, I realized it is possible. So yeah, it was, it was incredible.
Patrick: Yeah, man, that's really cool. I love the idea of just for anyone who's gone as well, just to know that there's zero expectation to drink, right? Like, it's just off the table. And so you don't even have to worry about it, right? You don't have to overthink through situations about what am I going to say to people? How am I going to get out of this, You know? No, just totally gone straight away. Yeah.
A SKI TRIP WITHOUT PRESSURE TO DRINK
Ben: Yeah, that was a really, that was actually something that a lot of the guests when we spoke to them afterwards. So I sat down with every guest at the end of the week and did a bit of an interview with them and sort of got like a bit of a testimonial. And also I've like stayed in touch with all of them since. And yeah, I spoke to one of our guests recently and said exactly that. It was like the nicest thing about it was that we could just turn up. And because we already all knew we were there for the same reason or we were there for the same style of trip.
Like there was no explanation needed. Like you can just turn up and it's just not even a thing. It's not even an option. And actually you're we're not focusing at all on the fact that we're not drinking. We filled the rest of the week up with more things than you know, what to do with so that there's no one sat around with the elephant in the room going like, well, oh, well, what do we do now?
It's like, well, we've built a really purposeful, thought-out, you know, program essentially that you can tap into as much or as little as you want to where drinking is the last thing on the agenda. Like there's no, this doesn't even re-enter people's minds, right. And we could still tick that box with, you know, 0% drinks and like alcohol-free cocktails. And we were still enjoying like the ritual and the experience and the wind down of it as you would on any other chalet holiday. But we just didn't include the ingredient that tarnishes it all.
And so, yeah, I think a lot of the guests really were surprised at just how easy it was to sort of immerse themselves into it without having to worry about like, or what do I tell people? Why do I tell people I'm really here? Or does it matter what my backstory is? Everybody had a different reason and you don't. It wasn't AA in the mountains or a recovery trip. It was very much about this week. Whatever your reason for not drinking, whether you still drink the rest of the year or you don't or you have problems or you haven't, it doesn't matter.
It's just not a feature of this and we're going to just do so much other stuff that is way more interesting and beneficial.
WHAT IT MEANS TO BE RADICALLY HUMAN
Patrick: Yeah, beautiful man. All right, dude, I'm just a little conscious of time. So there's a couple of questions that I want to ask before we finish today. One is: what does it mean to be radically human?
Ben: Oh, to be radically human, I think it probably means to be completely yourself and authentically yourself and whatever that looks like, whether that is just following what you want to do. I think it's if you can be of service to others. I think everybody has got something in them to create something. I think like, you know, the more and more you start building something yourself, you realise that other people can so easily do that, but it's just a confidence thing or it's a, it's a mindset thing.
And so I think it's just about being true to yourself and actually just going, look, I've got so much potential as a human being, as somebody that cares about other people that can make a difference. And yeah, I think it's just about actually getting outside of yourself and stepping outside of your comfort zone to just make something happen because you've got, everybody's got so much value and so much to give that you just need a bit of prompting sometimes to do that.
Patrick: Yeah, love it, mate. Great definition of what it means to be radically human. It's so true. And then if people listen and they're like, oh, this guy sounds all right, man. Like, where can I follow him? Where can I find out about him? Where can I learn more about Soberski?
WHERE TO FIND BEN AND SOBERSKI
Ben: Yeah, definitely. So on Instagram it's just s0berski, with a zero instead of the letter O. And then you can always head over to our website. There's loads more about the story there. So www.soberski.co.uk. And that has got all of our imagery on it, all of our kind of testimonials. You can hear from the guests that have actually been on our trips and who were the first people to take the plunge and come and join us. And you've got all of our upcoming trip information there.
So yeah, the next one's on 22 to 29 January 2027 back in Méribel in the French Alps. And you can find all of the booking information on the website.
Patrick: Amazing. Well, look, we'll share all that in the show notes, so anyone who wants to find it can do with ease. All right, Ben, before we go, is there anything you wanted to add or share or leave the listeners today?
Ben: I'd say like massive respect to you, man, because you know, people, I think a lot of these things exist and people don't really understand how much time and effort and like thought goes into actually creating anything like particularly like a podcast, right? There's so many elements. I think you're doing it for such a good and useful and necessary reason.
And I think like it's, it's so beneficial for people, even if there's just one person listening and he goes, you know what, that story or that what you've created the platform that you share for other people, that can be the exact thing that people are looking for to just, you know, get them through or to just switch up their mindset.
And so I think, yeah, respect to you for giving people the platform, obviously having me on and just giving people a chance to think differently and give, you know, throw the rule book out the window and just try something new to get the most out of themselves. So yeah, well done for creating it.
Patrick: Thanks man. I really appreciate that. Yeah, that's why I love doing this, is because it is about showing people what's possible. But I guarantee you when I first stopped drinking like this, even this, what we're doing now, like just didn't exist in my mind. It came later on. And if you'd have met me, there was no way that you would have thought that this guy would go on to create hundreds of podcast episodes or whatever because I just didn't feel that good about myself, especially when I was just hammering drink and drugs all of the time.
Yeah, it's amazing to have guests on like yourself and amazing to be able to give people different ways to think, as you said, because, look, if we're not challenging our thinking, and I would, I would say very strongly, is that a lot of our thinking isn't actually ours, right? We're just following what our parents, our culture, our society thinks we should think. So we have to be able to recognise that and say to ourselves, like, is this working for me? Whether that's alcohol or anything else in life, really. Yeah. Awesome. Thank you, man.
I really appreciate that.
Ben: No. No, of course. Thanks so much for having me.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
Patrick: All right, cool. Well guys, go check out Ben, find Soberski on the Instagram, go check out his website. He's doing amazing things. Ben, thank you so much for coming on man. I really appreciate your vulnerability and sharing your story and also your successes as a result. Amazing.
Ben: Yeah. Cheers, Patrick. Thanks so much mate.
Patrick: Nice one. Hey guys, thank you all for listening. Take care of yourself.
