ABOUT PATRICK FOX
Successful in Life. Frustrated by Your Drinking?
You know you're capable of making changes. You've done it in other areas of your life. So why does alcohol feel different?
I'm Patrick Fox, a men's life and sober coach.
I help men understand why they drink, break the patterns keeping them stuck and build the skills to enjoy life without relying on alcohol.
EXPLORE COACHINGThe Decision That Changed More Than My Drinking.
I stopped drinking alcohol on 28 December 2018.
At the time, I wasn't planning to become a sober coach or start a podcast. I was committing to a year without alcohol.
I was scared and uncertain about what life without drinking would look like. Part of me wondered whether I'd even manage it. But I also knew I didn't want to carry on the way I was.
For most of my adult life, alcohol had been part of how I relaxed, socialised, celebrated and dealt with how I felt. What began as something I did for fun gradually became the only way I thought I could have fun.
I'd tried to stop before.
I used running events, sporting challenges and the birth of my son as reasons to take breaks. Sometimes I managed a few days, occasionally a few weeks, and once I went seven months without drinking.
But I kept going back.
Each time I broke another promise to myself, the frustration, resentment and self-criticism grew.
I knew alcohol was becoming a bigger part of my life than I wanted it to be. What I couldn't understand was why I kept returning to something I knew wasn't helping me.
Then, on 28 December 2018, I woke up on the sofa with a raging hangover and asked myself:
What the hell am I doing?
I was becoming the man I'd promised myself I would never be.
Growing up with a father who drank heavily had left its mark on me. I knew what it felt like to have a dad who wasn't always emotionally available, and I was frightened of repeating that experience with my own children.
I didn't want to be the dad who was too drunk, too hungover or too resentful to be present with his kids.
I wanted to be the dad and partner I knew I was capable of being.
And the painful truth was that my drinking was getting in the way of something that mattered more to me than alcohol ever could.
That was difficult to admit.
But it was also something I could no longer ignore.
So I made a decision. I was going to give myself the chance to find out what life without alcohol could be like.
After three months, I knew I didn't want to go back.
Stopping drinking gave me clarity, but it also left me with a much bigger question:
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Who am I without alcohol in my life?
That question felt daunting at first.
Alcohol had given me a strange sense of certainty about who I was. I believed I was a bloody good drinker, even when the reality increasingly suggested otherwise.
Without it, I had to learn more about myself.
I had to figure out how to relax without drinking, how to socialise without it and how to deal with stress, disappointment and difficult emotions without looking for a way to switch off.
One of the biggest surprises was discovering that I could still go out and have a great time without drinking.
For years, I'd believed alcohol was what made nights out, celebrations and social occasions fun. I genuinely wondered whether I'd ever enjoy those things in the same way again.
But the more I put myself in those situations, the more I realised that alcohol wasn't what made them enjoyable in the first place.
I didn't have to avoid life or miss out on experiences just because I'd stopped drinking.
And that was a huge shift.
Stopping drinking didn't suddenly make every area of my life perfect. It gave me the clarity and space to start working on the parts of myself I'd previously avoided.
Over time, I became more present with my family, more willing to try new things and more confident in my ability to handle life's ups and downs.
But perhaps the most important change was happening in my relationship with myself.
After years of breaking promises to myself, I was finally following through on them. Each time I did, I gave myself another reason to believe I could trust myself.
The biggest change wasn't simply that I stopped drinking. It was that I started becoming someone I could trust.
I began to understand that stopping drinking was only part of the journey. There was so much more to discover, learn and experience.
The question gradually changed from:
Over time, the question shifted from "Who am I without alcohol?" to "Who do I want to become?"
That personal journey eventually led me into coaching and to the work I now do with other men.
How This Became My Work
My coaching journey began back in 2014, several years before I stopped drinking.
I'd always been fascinated by human behaviour and had studied psychology at college. I initially trained as a coach to support me in a role I was doing at the time, but quickly discovered how much I enjoyed it and how powerful coaching could be.
There was just one problem.
I was learning how to help other people make changes in their lives, while struggling to make some of the changes I wanted in my own.
Something about that didn't sit right with me.
I was afraid of failing, worried about what other people might think and lacked the confidence to take coaching further.
Looking back, alcohol had become one of the ways I avoided facing those fears. Stopping drinking didn't make them disappear, but it gave me the opportunity to start dealing with them.
With more time, energy and a clearer head, I started reconnecting with something I'd always enjoyed.
In 2020, I started The Alcohol ReThink Podcast to share what I was learning about alcohol, question some of the beliefs we hold about drinking and have more honest conversations about its role in our lives.
Through those conversations, I began to realise just how many men were struggling with the same frustrations I'd experienced.
Men who were doing well in other areas of life but couldn't understand why alcohol continued to have such a hold over them.
They weren't necessarily looking for a label. They wanted to understand their drinking, stop breaking promises to themselves and feel more in control of their choices.
And then, one day, while hanging out the washing, something clicked.
I wanted to help men rethink their relationship with alcohol.
It wasn't some grand moment of inspiration. It just felt right. Like something I'd been moving towards for a long time.
Since then, I've continued developing my coaching skills, completing professional training and spending thousands of hours working with men who want to make meaningful changes in their lives.
One of the biggest things I've learnt is that being disciplined and determined doesn't necessarily mean you understand why you drink, or know how to change it.
Often, alcohol has become a way of relaxing, switching off, managing stress or feeling comfortable in certain situations.
And when you take alcohol away without understanding what it's been doing for you, it's easy to find yourself back where you started.
That's why my work goes beyond helping men stop drinking.
It's about helping men understand themselves, develop new ways of handling life and make choices that reflect the kind of man they want to be.
And that's what eventually became the foundation of The Alcohol ReThink Method.
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Marshall - Testimonial
"I had thought and tried to give up drinking many times - but never really seemed to find the will power that I thought was necessary to motivate me. After listening to quite a few of your podcasts and before we connected and I signed up to your coaching- I was already on my way to a very different lifestyle.Â
One of the biggest turning points for me was realising that it wasn’t me that was the problem, it was the realisation and understanding that alcohol is such a completely addictive drug and that the companies that promote and market this product do it to make billions of dollars - They make it sexy, attractive and sell the idea that if you’re not on board you’re missing out on life.
So not the case.
Patrick's coaching is so very different as it addresses not just issues surrounding alcohol but issues including self esteem, awareness, forgiveness, self appreciation, and an understanding of your own value system and what is important to you.
I found the conversations that we had really enabled me to open up to myself and examine so many different layers of my life and those closest to me. It was also the reinforcing of my values that continued to make my journey so interesting and rewarding."
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EXPLORE COACHING
Schedule a free one hour consultation with me to see how I can help you stop drinking without going to AA meetings, labelling yourself powerless or an alcoholic.Â
The Alcohol ReThink Method
The Alcohol ReThink Method brings together the four areas that help men create lasting change.
See Clearly
Examine what you believe alcohol gives you, what it takes from you and the stories that have kept you reaching for it.
Interrupt the Pattern
Recognise the triggers, thoughts and familiar routines that lead to drinking. Learn how to interrupt the pattern and respond differently.
Build New Skills
Develop practical ways to handle stress, difficult emotions, social situations and the end of a long day without automatically turning to alcohol.
Become Yourself
Build evidence that you can trust yourself, follow through on your decisions and become the person you want to be, rather than remaining defined by your drinking.
