How David Quit Drinking and Rebuilt His Health, Identity and Life

For a lot of men, the turning point with alcohol is not one big dramatic rock bottom. It is a quiet, honest moment where you realise you cannot keep living the way you have been. That is where David found himself.

He was a daily drinker, carrying over 140 kilos, with health warnings piling up, a family history of problems, and a constant belief in the background that “one day” he would learn to moderate. He tried time off alcohol, he tried coming back to it, and he tried to outwork the problem with exercise. Like many men, he could function, hold down a job, be a dad and a partner, but inside he knew something was not right.

In this episode, David shares what actually made the difference, why moderation never stuck, how his health became the wake up call he could no longer ignore, and how understanding his ADHD completely changed how he sees his drinking, his brain and his life.

Here are some of the biggest takeaways from his journey.

When health becomes the wake up call you can’t ignore

For David, the central theme that kept coming back was health. Weight, energy, illness, and the slow but steady feeling that his body was giving up.

He had spent his early life active, playing sport and going to the gym. As work became more sedentary and family life got busier, the balance tipped. He could no longer out-exercise his drinking. The weight climbed into the 130s and then into the 140s. Sleep, immunity, and day to day energy all suffered.

He describes one GP telling him years earlier, “The tsunami is coming. You do not want it to hit you.” That line stayed with him. So did watching his father suffer with type 2 diabetes, and seeing a client around his age become jaundiced from drinking and later pass away.

On top of that came a high blood sugar reading at a routine colonoscopy. All of these moments started to stack. None of them were dramatic on their own. Together, they became impossible to ignore.

If you are in a similar place, you might recognise this. The signs are there. Your body is already voting on your current relationship with alcohol.

Why a year off alcohol didn’t fix the problem

Back in 2016, long before he finally went alcohol free, David had already taken a full year off drinking. He lost a huge amount of weight, felt better, and proved to himself he could “do it”.

But his goal at that time was not to stop drinking for good. His goal was to take a year off so that he could come back as a “take it or leave it” drinker. He wanted to use that break to reset his tolerance so that moderation would finally be easy.

His last drink was on his birthday. His first drink, a year later, was also on his birthday. It was a celebration with his wife and kids. Everyone was proud. It felt like a win.

Then the old neural pathways lit back up.

The drinking crept back to what it was before. The weight went from around 100 kilos back up past 120, then into the 130s, and eventually to around 142 kilos. Tolerance returned quickly. The body adapted back to the old normal. The health benefits disappeared.

He assumed at first that a year off would “fix” him. What he later learned is that time off alcohol does not delete those pathways. They never fully go away. They simply go unused. If you go back to drinking, they wake up very quickly.

For some people, moderation might be possible. For many, it becomes a constant exhausting mental negotiation. David eventually realised he was spending more energy trying to drink “normally” than he would ever spend just not drinking.

The long sober curious phase that came before the final decision

David did not stop drinking overnight. He went through years of what many people now call the sober curious phase.

He listened to Annie Grace and tried her 30 day experiment. The first time he did the experiment, he kept drinking. The second time, he used it during a lockdown and had around four months off alcohol, lost some weight, then went back again.

He started listening to more podcasts, especially from people talking openly about alcohol, sobriety and brain science. He listened to audio books like This Naked Mind. He tried different stints off alcohol. He saw his weight drop when he stopped and climb when he started again.

Slowly, seeds were being planted. Even though he was still drinking, his awareness was changing. He was learning more about his own patterns, his health and how alcohol really worked in his life.

If you are in this stage, it can feel slow and frustrating, but it is not wasted time. Curiosity is often the bridge between “I know I should change” and “I am actually done”.

The shift in 2023: new goal, same starting point, different decision

The real turning point came in March 2023. Once again, he stopped on his birthday after what he describes as one of the worst hangovers he had ever had. This time, though, the intention was different.

Instead of setting a time frame, he set a health goal. He decided to go alcohol free and get back to 100 kilos, no matter how long it took. He told himself he would only reassess drinking when he reached that point.

By then, he had more education. He understood more about alcohol, the brain, tolerance and neuro pathways. He had listened to podcasts and heard other people’s stories. He knew what had happened last time he took a year off and then went back.

So he focused on routines and sobriety first. Regular gym sessions. Walking and moving his body. Keeping alcohol completely out of the picture. Keeping things simple.

Over time the weight did exactly what it had done before. It came down steadily. Clothes sizes shifted. He passed his original target and eventually dropped from roughly 137 kilos at the start of 2023 to under 100 kilos by the end of 2024. That is more than 35 kilos lost, while staying alcohol free.

This time, the decision not to drink was not just about hitting a goal and going back. It was about changing the way he lived.

Understanding ADHD, dopamine and why alcohol “made sense” to his brain

One of the most powerful layers of David’s story is his ADHD diagnosis. He had been diagnosed in 2016 and tried medication at the time, but he did not fully connect it to his relationship with alcohol until later.

Once he stopped drinking and started learning more about neurodiversity and dopamine, things began to click. He realised his brain had always gravitated toward stimulation, reward and coping behaviours. Alcohol, food, and at times gambling had all played that role for him.

Through podcasts, books and therapy, he started to see that this was not about being weak or “lacking discipline”. His brain is wired in a certain way. High dopamine, high sensitivity, fast emotional responses. Alcohol had been a way to regulate, escape and self-medicate.

That understanding did not excuse his behaviour, but it did explain it. And explanation brought compassion, clarity, and better tools.

If you are neurodivergent yourself or suspect you might be, this overlap between dopamine, coping and addiction is worth paying attention to. It does not mean you are doomed. It means you need strategies that actually match the way your brain works.

New neural pathways, old ones left to collect dust

One idea that really stuck with David came from Catherine Gray’s writing about neural pathways. The old drinking pathways in the brain do not vanish. They become like disused roads or cobwebbed tracks. If you go back to drinking, those roads light up quickly and traffic starts moving again.

The work of sobriety is to build new pathways and let the old ones stay quiet.

For David, that looked like:

• Creating solid routines around exercise and movement
• Using non alcoholic options like alcohol free beer when needed
• Having mental tools ready, especially in high risk situations like skiing trips, where he had strong drinking memories

Two simple tools that helped him were:

• “Never question the decision.” When a craving or thought about drinking appeared, he used this as a mental boundary. The decision to be alcohol free had already been made. He did not reopen that conversation when his brain was stressed, tired or tempted.
• “Play the movie forward.” Instead of focusing on the first drink, he mentally ran the tape ahead. He reminded himself where that decision would take him, physically, mentally and emotionally.

These tools did not remove every thought or trigger, but they stopped him from getting pulled back into endless internal debates.

Beyond stopping drinking: emotional sobriety and sitting with your feelings

Stopping drinking was not the end of the work for David. In many ways, it was the beginning.

Once alcohol was removed, he had to learn how to live with his emotions without numbing them. Anxiety, low mood, rapid swings, sensitivity, stress. All the feelings that alcohol used to blur were now in the room with him.

He worked with counsellors on anxiety, depression and ADHD. He used cognitive behavioural therapy tools. He started to understand his emotional patterns, not just his drinking patterns.

He calls this emotional sobriety. Not just being sober from alcohol, but learning how to sit with your emotions, respond differently, and live unmasked. That work is ongoing. It is not neat or linear, but it is what allows sobriety to be about more than just “not drinking”.

Connection as medicine

One thread that runs through David’s story is connection. He talks about the power of listening to other people’s experiences, especially through podcasts. Hearing stories that mirrored his own helped him feel less isolated and less ashamed. It also gave him language and ideas he could use in his own life.

He is not active on social media, but he has built a form of connection through audio. Alcohol specific podcasts. ADHD and neurodiversity podcasts. Sport. Psychology. Anything that helps him understand himself and feel part of something wider.

Connection does not have to look one way. The point is not the platform. The point is that you do not do this alone.

Final thoughts

David’s story shows that change does not have to start with a dramatic collapse. It can start with health warnings you finally decide to listen to. A number on a scale that you refuse to ignore. A diagnosis that suddenly makes sense. A client’s death that hits too close to home.

It also shows that relapse and “failed” moderation attempts are not the end of the story. They can be part of the process that finally makes the decision stick.

If you see yourself in any part of David’s journey, you do not have to copy everything he did. Pick one thing. Maybe it is setting a clear health goal. Maybe it is listening to more sober content. Maybe it is getting curious about ADHD or other neurodiversity. Maybe it is writing your own version of “never question the decision.”

To hear David tell his story in his own words and go deeper into the tools, mindset shifts and health changes he experienced, listen to Episode 227: How David Quit Drinking and Rebuilt His Health, Identity and Life on The Alcohol ReThink Podcast, also available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and wherever you listen.